Cosmetic Cache

Are you looking for Caches?

Cosmetic Caches were handed out to every subscriber when Torn reached 10,000 subscribers in November 2020. They will be further distributed into circulation through monthly subscriber rewards, replacing the vastly over-saturated crime enhancer items.

There are currently eight different cosmetic caches available. Each cache provides a single item when opened.

Gentleman Cache

Gentleman Cache
Image	Item	Description
	Blazer	Blazers are a multipurpose item which can be worn by everyone from business bros and bridegrooms through to schoolboys and boat jerks. Team this dark gray blazer with a pair of blue jeans for that ultimate "poor guy cosplaying a rich guy" look.
	Bow Tie	If you're attending a fancy dinner and want to look smart, or you want to dress like a 12-year-old chess prodigy whose parents pushed him so hard he is unable to form meaningful friendships in adulthood, the Bow Tie is the perfect accessory. This one is made from red silk, and should be paired with a red pocket square and a smug, condescending outlook toward your peers.
	Bowler Hat	Also known as a billycock, bob hat, bombin or derby, the Bowler Hat was once the preserve of city gentleman, being a key part of typical business attire until the 1970's. These days, Bowler Hats are exclusively worn by Dr Watson cosplayers and people going through a steampunk phase.
	Braces	If for some reason you're allergic to belts, then a pair of Braces does just as good a job at holding your trousers up instead. Of course, you wouldn't need either if you'd bought properly fitting trousers in the first place, but until you grow into them, these elasticated black braces will stop you looking like a gangsta rapper.
	Derby Shoes	"Derby Shoes were once worn by hunters and sportsmen, but today they are suitable for occasions both formal and informal. The Derby is an open laced shoe, meaning the quarters are sewn on top of the vamp, which makes them easy to put on. If you neither know nor care what that means, you may be interested to learn that the Derby was invented for the 19th Century Earl of Derby, who was so fat he had trouble putting his regular shoes on. And if that isn't a legacy, I don't know what is."
	Fitted Shirt	Everyone looks good in a fitted white shirt. With extra tailoring applied around the chest and waist area, it will enable you to show off your pecks, bosoms or man-boobs in all their spectacular glory. Just don't spill gravy on it.
	Monocle	Consisting of a circular lens within a wire frame attached to a short string or chain, the Monocle is a piece of corrective eyewear used to enhance your vision in one single eye. With the advancements of modern optometry and the death of Patrick Moore, the monocle has now been rendered obsolete.
	Neck Tie	This red neck tie screams authority. The minute you sport this bad boy to the office everyone will stop to listen to you, even if you have nothing useful to say. Made from pure silk, this tie can also be used as an emergency bandana.
	Panama Hat	Panama Hats are lightweight, brimmed, and typically made of woven straw. They were originally an Ecuadorian invention, but Panama Hat sounds nicer than Ecuador Hat, so everyone just pretends that's where they came from.
	Pipe	Used to smoke loose tobacco, the Pipe is a dual-purpose item given that it also increases your ability to contemplate things by roughly 400%. Pipes are best smoked by a roaring fireplace in a room with lots of books in, and perhaps an ancient musket on the wall for good measure.
	Smoking Jacket	Smoking Jackets were designed in the 19th Century for men who wanted to enjoy tobacco without their clothes smelling absolutely rank. The most iconic colorway for a Smoking Jacket is Burgundy and Black, with silk or velvet the preferred material. Famous aficionados of the garment include Fred Astaire, Hugh Hefner, and 2006 Playmate of the Year Saddam Hussein.
	Sports Jacket	Sports Jackets are so-called due to their historic use by men playing outdoor sports, such as shooting, hunting, and cricket. Unlike a blazer, the Sports Coat is made from a hardwearing fabric which enables it to be worn as a casual, everyday item. This one is made from light tweed, which sounds like Mike Tyson trying to describe the universal physical constant.
	Suit Trousers	Unless you're one of those kilt-wearing berks who thinks they're Scottish because their uncle once visited Aberdeen, black suit trousers are the most formal form of legwear mankind has thus far invented. These particular trousers would work well for someone attending a job inteview, visiting a funeral, appearing in court, or dressing up as the guy from Hitman.
	Waistcoat	Gray waistcoats are most commonly spotted at weddings and christenings, given that they serve no useful purpose other than to make you feel slightly warmer than you ought to be. This one comes with a decorative pocket, which tells others that you could have pockets if you wanted, but you have chosen a wiser path.

Elegant Cache

Elegant Cache
Image	Item	Description
	Ball Gown	This floor-length Ball Gown is so elegant it could make a princess out of a pig. Hewn from luxurious chiffon in a shade of purple known as Deluge, the way this dress exposes the full glory of your décolletage means you'll be deluged with suitors before you've had time to wonder why your drink tastes sleepy.
	Cocktail Ring	Cocktail Rings are also known as statement rings, given that they are chunky and feature a large, often fake gemstone in their settings. Quite what statement the wearer intends to make is down to you, but given the sheer size of this thing, you'd certainly make an impression if you punched someone in the temple with it.
	Crystal Bracelet	Crystal Bracelets are as gaudy as they are shiny. Constructed from reasonable quality silver by Francis Montana, Torn's resident jeweller, this bracelet is studded with white topaz crystals, which are said to improve the wearer's mental clarity - something which much of Torn's populace could benefit from greatly.
	Fascinator Hat	The Fascinator Hat was invented in the 17th Century, and originally consisted of a lacey scarf wrapped around a woman's head with the aim of drawing attention and invoking an air of mystery. These days, the term Fascinator is used to describe any overly elaborate hat worn at a stupid angle to a wedding or a racecourse, with the only mystery being "Why the hell are you wearing that?"
	Floral Dress	Girls love nothing more than flowers. Not oxygen, not their boyfriends, not even puppy dogs. That's why this Floral Dress is so popular among the fairer sex, given that it has been designed in a floral style. If it had been made with a print of severed horse heads, it wouldn't be nearly as popular.
	Fur Coat	Animal rights protestors have labelled this fur coat the cruellest garment of Autumn Winter 2020. Made from 40% fox, 38% mink and 22% miscellaneous fur, this gorgeous coat would suit both a lady of elegance and a bloke in his mid-thirties who thinks he looks like Macklemore.
	Fur Hat	In Red Dead Redemption 2 you can construct many different types of fur hat out of a range of interesting animals, from grizzlies and wolves through to beavers and racoons. In Torn, you get just one, and it's made from cat hair.
	Fur Scarf	When you wear a fur scarf it tells others that you like animals too much to wear a full coat of their skin, but not so much that you wouldn't fashion them into an accessory. Constructed from a gorgeous blend of Chinchilla and Madagascan boy fur, this scarf is 100% vegan unfriendly.
	Platform Shoes	Platform Shoes were popular with both men and women throughout history, and while today they are more commonly seen as a feminine item, discrete platform shoes are still worn by "short kings" to disguise their lack of vertical manhood. These dusky pink platforms come with a 100% money back guarantee that you'll sprain your ankle in them within the first 30 days.
	Shoulder Sweater	In Torn City it is illegal for someone to board a boat without their sweater being tied over their shoulders. This Shoulder Sweater comes pre-tied to save you the trouble.
	Shrug	The Shrug is a cropped, cardigan-like garment with short or long sleeves cut in one with the body, often made from knitted wool. This description was the first thing that came up when we googled Shrug. If you ask most people what a Shrug is, they will probably do something expressive with their shoulders.
	Silver Flats	These Silver Flats are notable for their lack of sole, whereas the music of Ed Sheeran is known for its distinct lack of soul. Made from a mixture of recycled trash and commercial adhesive, Ed Sheeran has sold over 150 million terrible records. This fact has nothing to do with these shoes, which are fine if you like that sort of thing.
	Square Sunglasses	Whether you're trying to hide an unsightly bruise or you're just damn sick of the sight of the sun, these Square Sunglasses will keep your peepers behind closed doors and then some! Made from low-grade plastic by a Vietnamese child, these glasses are guaranteed to shatter if you look at them the wrong way.
	Statement Necklace	A necklace is a piece of jewellery worn around the neck. If you were born without a neck, you are prohibited from wearing a necklace. This statement necklace comes studded with rose quartz crystals, which supposedly promote healing, if you believe in all that s***e.
	Sun Hat	The Sun Hat is a type of headwear defined by a large brim, with its purpose being to protect the head, neck and shoulders from the sun's rays. You will often find these hats being worn by people who live in Earth's equatorial regions, but they can also be spotted on the heads of English women who think they're posh just because their boyfriend won tickets to the races.
	Wedding Dress	Wedding dresses are like Crocs; it's tragic if you wear them more than once in your life. This particular Wedding Dress is an off-the-rack number made from white satin, meaning you could spill a White Russian all over it and nobody would notice.
	Wedding Veil	Wedding veils were originally worn to protect the Bride from evil and impurity, because apparently a thin layer of net fabric can repel such things. In Torn, a veil is worn to protect the wedding congregation from Bridal saliva, as the women here are neither good nor pure, and are prone to spitting to get their own way.

Elderly Cache

Elderly Cache
Image	Item	Description
	Bathrobe	There's nothing better than sinking into a fluffy white Bathrobe after a nice hot crack bath - which is a lot like a regular bath, except you smoke crack while in the tub. This particular robe is made from the purest white silk, and is modelled on one which Whitney Houston owned.
	Bingo Visor	This lurid green Bingo Visor is a must-have accessory for any self-respecting douchebag. Whereas they were once sported by old folk who wished to avoid the glare of the bingo hall's halogen lights, Bingo Visors are now often worn by young people at the beach, and that guy from that band called A. Remember them? No, nobody does.
	Chinos	These lightweight cotton Chinos are perfect for the man who wants to make minimal impact in every room he walks into. Their dark beige color matches the aura of their wearer, and we guarantee that nobody will expect you to be funny or interesting while wearing them.
	Collared Shawl	The Collared Shawl is a timeless piece of knitwear which suits both the elderly and the elderly at heart. If you're lucky, you might find butterscotch candies stuck to the inside pocket. If you're unlucky, blood.
	Cover-ups	Too cheap to afford a pair of prescription sunglasses? These cover-ups are an affordable alternative, as they are designed to sit on top of your regular spectacles and protect your peepers from the sun's harmful rays. However, while wearing them, you do run the risk of looking extremely frail, so bear that in mind.
	Flip Flops	Flip Flops are commonly worn at the beach or on holiday, but those of an elderly persuasion are fond of wearing them with a pair of socks underneath. Pensioners probably do this due to the wretched state of their ancient feet, which makes you wonder why they don't just wear a pair of damn shoes instead.
	Golf Socks	Constructed from a poly-cotton elastane blend, these Golf Socks are so durable that the only way you'll get a "hole in one" is through a game of Foot Russian Roulette.
	Head Scarf	The favored headwear for terminally ill patients and white women returning from a gap year in India, the headscarf is a versatile piece of clothing well-suited to various climates - except wind or rain. This headscarf is made from a piece of floral fabric, and would not look out of place on the head of an 84-year-old woman whose husband recently passed away.
	Nightgown	The only thing better than wearing a silk nightgown to bed is dying in your sleep - peacefully, of course. Contemporary nightgowns are mostly worn by women, but can also be worn by men awaiting a visit by three judgemental spirits in the dead of night. This particular nightgown has a buttoned-up access panel about the rear for the release of nightly discharge.
	Pleated Skirt	Traditionally the preserve of substitute teachers with scant regard for their appearance, the Pleated Skirt has made a comeback in recent years, and can now be seen on people who you'd easily describe as a potential 7/10. This particular skirt is made from Navy Blue flannel, which is exactly as sexy as it sounds - not very.
	Pullover	This tight-fitting, woolen pullover comes in a unique shade of brown rarely seen outside of a sewage sluice. Soft to the touch and hard-wearing, this sweater is very much a one-off, in that as soon as you put one on, you'll want to take it off.
	Reading Glasses	Struggling to read that Report on Crime? These Reading Glasses will help restore your eyesight to that of a prepubescent child. And they come with the added bonus of making you look like a very old lady.
	Sandals	These leather strap Sandals are exactly what the Lord and Saviour Jesus Christ might've worn if he lived today or indeed ever. And speaking of fictional tales, these particular Sandals were purchased in a job lot from the producers of the 2000 movie Gladiator, who used the money to purchase tranquilisers for Russell Crowe at the wrap party.
	Slippers	These neoprene foam Slippers were stolen in bulk from a fancy spa retreat just over the Torn border. Both comfortable and wipe clean, these foot gloves will prevent you stepping on broken glass as you make your way through the kitchen at midnight to grab yourself a beer.

Denim Cache

Denim Cache
Image	Item	Description
	Denim Cap	Denim Caps should be worn backwards for a "radical" effect, or front ways for an "I don't like the sun in my eyes" vibe. These caps can also be worn sideways at your own risk.
	Denim Jacket	Denim Jackets work best when teamed with items that are not made of denim, lest you suffer the ignominy of being seen in double denim. There are many items not made of denim, including cotton t-shirts, woolen overcoats, and PVC onesies to name but a few.
	Denim Jeans	Jeans were invented by Steve Jeans in 1992, when a shortage of chinos meant that dads everywhere were rendered pantsless on Saturday afternoons. The denim fabric from which they are made was created in Europe in the 16th Century, which was also when colonialism really started to take off. Coincidence? Yes.
	Denim Shirt	Denim Shirts give off a clear signal to everyone around you, and that signal is "I like jeans so much I want to wear them all over my body". This particular shirt is made from stretch denim, because let's face it, you haven't been looking after yourself lately.
	Denim Shoes	If you're trying to build some sort of denim gimp suit, then you'll need this pair of Denim Hi-Tops to go with your Denim Jacket, Denim Vest, Denim Shirt, Denim Trousers and Denim Thong. These shoes are unsuitable for both men and women over the age of 32.
	Denim Vest	When accompanied by a white t-shirt and a set of dog tags, a Denim Vest tells others that while you aren't someone to be messed with, there won't be many consequences if you do. This particular vest is made from denim that is raw and untreated, like your spirit, I guess.

Wannabe Cache

Wannabe Cache
Image	Item	Description
	Baseball Jacket	In the United States, many citizens wear Baseball Jackets to excuse the fact that they are carrying a baseball bat around with them at the time. In Torn, such chicanery is unnecessary, so feel free to sport this retro polyester Baseball Jacket to disguise yourself as a yankee tourist instead.
	Basketball Shirt	The Torn City Basketball Team is known as The Shivs, and while they haven't played a match in fourteen years, their apparel is still popular among the city's youth. This vest is made from a high-tech breathable fabric known as Pit-Stahp, enabling you to emerge from even the most intense interrogation sweating less than Prince Andrew.
	Bucket Hat	Popular among British festival-goers of the 1990's, the Bucket Hat is a piece of headwear made from thick canvas - three times as thick as Liam Gallagher, actually. This particular Bucket Hat comes in a shade known as Hot Salmon.
	Durag	Durags, also known as do-rags or du-rags, consist of a simple cloth worn over the head and tied around the back. They are most commonly worn by people of colour who are in the process of developing wave, braided or dreadlocked hairstyles, but they can also be worn by white people who want to look like a weapons-grade bellend.
	Gold Chain	All that glitters is gold, but only shooting stars break the mold. You won't exactly break any molds in this 9 karat Gold Chain, but you will make yourself a target for muggers if you wear this on the streets.
	Gold Sneakers	Jazz up an otherwise forgettable outfit with this pair of snazzy Gold Sneakers! Constructed from coated rubber and canvas, these Gold Sneakers will look like absolute s**t as soon as you scuff them just once, so treat them with care!
	Onesie	Onesies were once the sole preserve of newborn babies whose parents couldn't be bothered to dress them up properly. But today, the Onesie is now popular as a homewear item, or a streetwear item if you have abandoned the concept of shame.
	Oversized Shirt	It doesn't matter how fat or thin you are, this Oversized Shirt will always be two sizes too big for you. Made from a revolutionary fabric called Nylong, this shirt adapts to the wearer's physique and stretches without pressure, enabling you to look "proper street" from the moment you put it on.
	Parachute Pants	If you want to be noticed and / or beaten to a pulp, you could do no better than this pair of gold lamé Parachute Pants. Popularized by MC Hammer in the 1980s, parachute pants were originally made of nylon to allow the wearer to breakdance effectively. These are made from lamé, because who even breakdances anymore?
	Puffer Jacket	The Puffer Jacket, also known as the Down Jacket, was designed by Australian chemist George Finch for the 1922 Everest expedition. While his design was initially mocked, it eventually fell into favor due to its wind-resistance abilities, and the fact that it makes you look three times as big as you actually are.
	Saggy Pants	The practice of wearing Saggy Pants is believed to have originated in the US prison system, where belts and braces are prohibited, and prison-issue items are often oversized. Outside of the clink, those who wear this style of trouser do so to show off how clean their underwear is.
	Shutter Shades	Remember when Kanye West wore a pair of Shutter Shades in 2007? Like almost everything Yeezy creates, this style was stolen from a 1980's trend, but now you can bring them back in style by sporting a pair of these cheap plastic knock-offs.
	Silver Hoodie	If you've ever wanted to attract an increasing number of magpies to your body then this Silver Hoodie is exactly what you need. Made from cotton flocked with a mixture of PU and Mercury, this hoodie will leave you weak and trembling if you wear it for long enough.
	Snapback Hat	This Snapback Hat comes without one of those douchey silver stickers attached to the brim. We removed it on your behalf, because what are you, twelve?
	Tube Dress	A Tube Dress is not a dress in a tube, it is simply a dress that is shaped like a tube - you know, like Pringles, except clothes. Made from viscose and elastine, this pink Tube Dress can be thrown on by women and crossdressers in a matter of seconds, which comes in handy if you need to exit your lover's bedroom window in a pinch.

Naughty Cache

Naughty Cache
Image	Item	Description
	Assless Chaps	Traditionally, a set of chaps consists of a pair of leggings and a belt, often made of leather, which are worn over trousers to protect the wearer's legs while on horseback. Chaps do not typically cover your crotch or buttocks, but this pair has been designed with a front pouch, which hints that they are to be worn over bare naked flesh. Assless they may be, but you'll have no trouble tapping dat in a pair of these bad boys.
	Ball Gag	The Ball Gag is the perfect gift for a lover who refuses to stop making weird noises at the point of orgasm. Consisting of a hardy leather strap and a rubber ball fixed together with steel clasps, this item can also be used to recreate the gimp scene from Pulp Fiction, if you're into that sort of thing.
	Booty Shorts	Not everyone can pull off a pair of Booty Shorts, especially if it's a hot day and they've stuck to the inside of your ass-flaps. These leopard-print crack-snugglers are perfect for those whose friends have no imagination, because they leave absolutely nothing to it. There's no need to upload pictures of your food to Instagram while wearing Booty Shorts this tight, because everyone can see what you had for dinner.
	Blindfold	This blindfold is made from soft, black silk, and is capable of obstructing the wearer's vision even in the presence of daylight. Blindfolds can be great fun in the bedroom if you like a little mystery in your sex life. They also come in handy if your partner hasn't aged well, or has recently undergone reconstructive surgery after a particularly nasty car accident.
	Chest Harness	If you can ever figure out how to get this thing on, you'll be the belle of the leather fetish ball.
	Choker	Despite its name, this flattering neck accessory is surprisingly comfortable.
	Collar	When people see you wearing a collar they are liable to suppose one of two things. Either you're a goth, or you're under the influence of a 40-something online dom who has convinced you you're his sex slave to mask the fact he doesn't know how to please a woman. You were hoping to meet your very own Christian Grey, but he's more of a Christopher Beige.
	Fishnet Stockings	Aside from the occasional fish caught in them, this steamy alternative to pantyhose remains a fan favourite.
	Knee-high Boots	If you were to wear these and enter a 'highest boots' competition, you would only lose out to thigh-highs.
	Lingerie	It's really just a fancy word for underoos.
	Maid Hat	No Maid Uniform is complete without a dainty little Maid Hat to top it off. This "hat" may be no more than a strip of starched lace glued to a simple headband, but from the instant you wear it, you'll feel as if you're in the bedchambers of an old French aristocrat whose bedpan needs to be emptied forthwith.
	Maid Uniform	French Maid Uniforms are one of the most popular types of sexy outfit, alongside schoolgirl, secretary, nurse, and 14th Century Brigandine. This particular Maid Uniform is made from cheap polyester and cotton lace, and will no doubt fall apart during a vigorous polishing of the ornaments.
	Mankini	Wear a mankini, but make sure you manscape first. Don't make me mansplain it to you.
	Mini Skirt	The regular skirt's shorter, flirtier, smaller cousin.
	Nipple Tassles	Jump up and down so they go around and around and around and around!
	Opera Gloves	Once the preserve of high society dames and regality, Opera Gloves are now worn by slags and wannabe starlets everywhere. The long, slender design of these stylish gloves make even the roughest broad feel like she's having Breakfast At Tiffany's when she's snarfing down an Egg McMuffin in Maccies at half nine in the morning.

Cutesy Cache

Cutesy Cache
Image	Item	Description
	Ballet Shoes	Ballet Shoes are shoes you wear for performing ballet, not while attending a ballet. You could wear ballet shoes while attending a ballet, but people will be confused and think you are performing in the ballet, when really you are just attending a ballet in ballet shoes. If you do decide to wear ballet shoes to a ballet in which you are not performing, simply because you like to wear ballet shoes, you'd have to explain to multiple people that you weren't performing in the ballet, you were simply attending a ballet in ballet shoes, and that could be quite long-winded.
	Bunny Ears	Myxomatosis is a severely painful disease in rabbits which attacks their skin, eyes, lungs, and genitals. Remember that the next time you appropriate their culture by wearing these Bunny Ears.
	Cat Ears	These Cat Ears won't make you look like a cat, but they will make you look like you have the ears of a cat. To complete the full cat look you'd need whiskers, a tail, and a spine flexible enough that you can reach your posterior with your tongue.
	Check Skirt	This red checkered cotton skirt resembles the type worn as part of a uniform by British schoolgirls - and the occasional schoolboy, if he was feeling adventurous.
	Dungarees	Dungarees are jeans with ideas above their station. Pair them with a banjo and a gap-toothed smile for that timeless hillbilly look. Alternatively, if you're bald, add a pacifier for that cute "I'm a giant baby" aesthetic. In America, dungarees are known as overalls, but not in Torn. Overall, the term overall doesn't make overall sense, given that this slutty combination of jean shorts and a denim vest does not cover over all of your body.
	Hair Bow	A Hair Bow may look cute, but they also serve as a signal to others that your hair is a gift to them. When wearing a Hair Bow you must therefore be vigilant, and avoid accessorizing with matching gift tag earrings, lest you be scalped by a confused onlooker.
	Heart Sunglasses	If you're an Elton John cosplayer or simply wish to hide the hate behind your sunken eyes, these Heart Sunglasses will do the job. Obviously the hearts which these glasses depict do not in any way resemble real human hearts. But legend has it that if you fly to South Africa on a Tuesday, you can pick up pair of surprisingly realistic liver aviators.
	Kitty Shoes	These red leather Kitty Shoes are perfect for anyone who loves the color red, and who likes cats. They are wholly unsuitable for someone who prefers purple and is obsessed with narwhals.
	Knee Socks	Knee Socks imply that the wearer is somewhat playful, or that they have really ugly shins. These pink cotton Knee Socks stop just below the thigh on a regular-sized person, but could probably be used as a sleeping bag by those of restricted height, such as Oompa Loompas, or Tyrion Lannister.
	Lolita Dress	The term Lolita means a sexually precocious young girl. To avoid Torn being shut down and raided by the police, we're going to end this description right here.
	Polka Dot Dress	Red Polka Dot dresses are closely associated with the 1950's, and wearing one implies that you love everything about this decade, including racism, the Cold War, and the mass coverup of the harmful effects of smoking by international tobacco companies. Who knew that wearing a little old dress meant so much!
	Puppy Ears	If you want a headband which comes with the ears of a full-sized dog attached then you are shit out of luck my friend. But if you're after some realistic-looking Puppy Ears, then why not buy a pair of these Puppy Ears? They look like real Puppy Ears. PUPPY EARS!
	Tights	Tights were invented in 1965 by the famous bankrobber Ian Tights, who wished to obscure his appearance while performing criminal acts. In the 1980's, women found a new use for tights as a leg covering, with these thin, nylon garments helping to hide the fact that they hadn't shaved their trouser-arms due to feminism. Today, men and women of all ages enjoy wearing tights, thanks to a resurgence in their popularity caused by the 1993 documentary Robin Hood: Men in Tights.
	Tutu	The Tutu was named after its inventor, Archbishop Desmond Tutu, who wore the garment to public rallies in the 1980's to distract white South Africans from the fact he was helping to dismantle apartheid. This Tutu is made from pink gauze and will rise up when the wearer pirouettes, or stands over a leafblower.
	Unicorn Horn	Many people believe that Unicorns possessed a single large horn in the centre of their head, however, recent paleontological evidence suggests they actually had one giant tentacle there instead. But don't let that stop you perpetuating the Unicorn horn myth with this brightly colored plastic Unicorn Horn, which you can also wear around your waist as a Merman's penis.

Sources: 1 & 2

Injury Cache

Injury Cache
Image	Item	Description
	Halo vest	Whereas a Neck Brace merely limits head movement, the Halo Vest fully immobilizes the patient's head through the use of pins screwed directly into the skull. By putting your neck bones under tension, a Halo Vest helps to heal fractures and breaks while protecting your spinal column from further injury. Conversely, a Halo T-shirt will make people think you spent most of your 20's racking up kills at Blood Gulch.
	Head Bandage	The sight of someone's head covered entirely in gauze used to conjure up images of a brave hero burned beyond all recognition, perhaps after risking their life to save a child from a house fire. These days, someone sporting a bandage niqab is probably hiding the results of an eyelid lift or a half-assed nose job. Whatever is wrong with your face, this full head bandage will keep your features under wraps.
	Hook Hand	The metacarpus-replacement of choice for pirates and radical clerics alike, a Hook Hand represents a more practical prosthesis for those who are not finger privileged. Hand Hooks may not look like a real human hand, but they can do many things a fleshy extremity cannot, such as slice things open, hammer nails, and allow masochists to wipe their backside in a manner more befitting of their lifestyle choice.
	Hospital Gown	Hospital gowns are long, loose pieces of clothing worn by patients about to undergo surgery. These gowns were traditionally open at the back, but in recent years, complaints by bashful patients have led most hospitals to adopt a less revealing design. Rest assured, the Hospital Gowns used in Torn City are of the old variety, allowing doctors and onlookers to gain full, unfettered access to the wearer's backdoor.
	Knee Brace	A knee brace works by shifting your weight from the most damaged part of the knee, allowing the wearer to walk more comfortably without pain. In the UK, it is estimated that the average 5-a-side football player will own fourteen knee braces by the time he is 38, and will spend roughly 1/8th of his remaining lifespan talking about his knees "giving him jip".
	Medical Diaper	The Medical Diaper is a garment made for those with various conditions, such as dementia, impaired movement, or incontinence, which restrict them from using regular bathroom facilities. Those who wear adult diapers may feel self-conscious about doing so, but given they never have to wait in line to take a dump, or hover precariously over a pee-streaked public toilet seat, these items could be seen as somewhat aspirational.
	Medical Eye Patch	A soft, breathable cotton patch taped over the eye to prevent infection. Whether you're suffering from a serious case of pink eye or you've tried to remove your contact lens with dirty fingernails, this medical eye patch will protect your peeper until mummy has kissed it better.
	Neck Brace	Also known as a cervical collar, the Neck Brace consists of a hard polyethylene frame over a soft, foam cushion. These items are designed to limit head movement to allow the wearer to recover from whiplash or a neck sprain, but they can also be used to garner sympathy from a court during a court hearing, or prevent hickeys.
	Plaster Cast Arm	When placed on the arm, plaster casts are at constant risk of being signed or doodled-upon by friends, relatives, and random well-wishers. Unfortunately, this plaster cast has been coated in a layer of ink-resistant material, ensuring that the wearer looks like a billy no-mates for the duration of their recovery.
	Plaster Cast Leg	Plaster casts consist of a bandage covered by a hard coating of plaster of paris, with this second layer relied upon to hold broken bones in place while nature does its thing. This particular plaster cast fits on a human leg, but it could also be used on a large cat or a very tiny horse.
	Prosthetic Arm	For those shorn of an upper limb, this carbon fiber Prosthetic Arm allows the wearer to maintain the appearance of being able to do the Macarena without providing them with the ability to do so. And while this false arm may be entirely non-functional, wearing one does mean you finally have a use for all those spare gloves.
	Prosthetic Leg	Prosthetic Legs are built more for function than aesthetics, with this titanium model capable of restoring full walking and kicking ability to its mono-legged user. Side effects of wearing Prosthetic Legs include contact dermatitis, blisters, and a propensity for shooting people on the john.
	Torso Bandage	The torso, or trunk, describes the area above the ass but below the neck minus your legs and arms. When a bandage covers this area, it means the wearer has either undergone major organ surgery, or they've treated themselves to a lovely set of E-cups. This particular Torso Bandage has been pre-bloodied for your convenience.

Historical Notes

• Cosmetic Caches were awarded on 05/11/20 (source).